how to save a life
there are lines you can't cross
despite the short distance between you and the other side
some things that slide aren't necessarily moving without a lot friction beneath.
she has a post it note with a name on it
she has a memory with a face in it
and she can say with some level of certainty that the two are reminders that she won't forget
anytime soon.
nothing is making sense no matter how much she tries to juice it up with evening wines and liquors-
she'd fail herself if she gave into the pills that you nursed your demons to sleep with -
you know her better than to watch her lose herself coming back from the darkness that way.
no one is free from this ache
she has become unhinged and there is no amount of everything that will make anything subside
even just a little bit.
no flame has overcome this sort of pouring emotion that has been raining for days turned almost 2 months.
daylight forces her to be reasonable
but fading into darkness the anger emerges
the loss of coping settles comfortably back into the recliner of her mind.
it's urgent
and chaotic
in here
despite the calm and temporary sanity.
this is her ticket to crazy if she ever wanted one.
it's the card that breaks the deck that has remained boxed ever so carefully.
silence does not mean there are not loud noises in here
life does not mean she's alive or half living
it has been a while since anyone has been able to clearly define that or what she calls it.
it's about how to keep a tired mind at rest
it's about learning to comprehend someone broken on arrival...
there is only one of you
and despite you sending me the same messages for years
this is what my heart hears-
i have learned to play my part
though i'm still not sure of the role i was assigned
i witness and i grow
and i rise and i fall
and i search for some meaning in the indescribable void of comprehension
but when the daylight rises to full mast
i am only standing between a bullet and a target...
