something of a testimony
something like a letter
with a destination
eyes to see it
a mind to think it
a heart to feel it
my words come at once.
nothing that this contains was premeditated
i have no clue what will be revealed if any thing at all
i will purge
simply purge
like i do
like i will
like i have.
i know it is to you
for you
about you
perhaps
but not about you.
i am sitting on the porch
a boddington's at my right
with the sound of hammers hitting the side of a home that is being rebuilt.
they wanted closure-
the once open room is now closed, it's been boarded, sheet rocked, and now cemented
i don't think i've ever seen who occupies that home-
i feel know something about their mentality by way of the added walls that they are showing me.
i wonder what they fear, or more what they don't want to see
they've added a brick wall and wrought iron gate in front of the door and traded a grass lawn for a convenient big driveway that has room for a 5x5 patch of green. they are changing some things- my reminder is the hammers hitting the side of the home
what do i want to know about you...
what do i want to ask...
what do i want to tell...
what do i want you to ask...
i never got to tell you about my story of when i learned to communicated and when i swore to never hold a thing in that bent me in some way-
i just told someone new the story last night and it just reinforced my love for david and the beauty that his crippled body radiated to me during those months.
someday i'll share it with you-
i want to know your scars-
i want to see the paths that lead to your heart that have started and then stopped every time something reminds you of something you'd rather forget-
i want to witness the moments where you second guess yourself
and your parents tell you need more-
i want to see the toughness in you that always makes me smile
because i know that not even you can be that strong,
crumble.
i want you to need to be held for a moment
when you just need someone else to hold you up and tell you it's gonna be allright.
i want in..
can you hear me?
i want in..
that may sound threatening...
i'm sure it sounds threatening-
i'm not trying to scare you or take something from you-
i just want sentences that complete the thought-i want you to keep looking at me instead of turning away when something comes up that you'd rather i didn't see.
the sound of the hammering sounds like native drumming,
tires to gravel roll away the rhythm,
birds ass the off tempo
and racing engines provide the hum..
the constant hum..
