15 minutes is what i've committed to for writing.
where to begin.
i lost another man in my life feb. 19th. and in that i got a visit from my father bringing possessions of grandparent's that i cherished.
dust has settled in places my eyes have passed over since i was a child and only now do i see the details up close.
dresser drawers with hidden secrets of forgotten socks, always golf socks and so very soft, and a head scarf for hair that was fuzz when i last saw her. i begged her not to be ashamed of her beautiful bald head- i rubbed it and told her it looked good on her.
stories he told us in my new living room, in my new house, while i sat her her chair turned his chair as he held on to anything that brought him closer to her. the chair, it was a surprise. i wasn't expecting to get such a prized item, that i secretly wanted for years- only because it fit her and it fit me so well.
my father brought needlepoints and paintings. the one of her front porch and her favorite flower and two hummingbirds- exactly like what it looked like for years. even after she died..
grampa held on to all those precious things and lived among them until he had nothing to give. he wanted to go to be with her and at last he was..
my home feels more complete now that i have my haven of loved one's possessions. too many at once but all individual and perfect just the same.
the day dad left i opened all the boxes and i wept and finally let it catch up to me- that all of them had gone. the pain was seamless and spilled from every broken place inside of me.. the hurt caught up as the blind went up. the dog barked and i knew one of them was with me.. it's all i needed- the reminder. if only everyday was a day spent recognizing when loved ones are with us. with time and tide we wander further from the one's we anchored ourselves up to. i am thankful for the reminder of each of them. i am happy to relate to earthly possessions to be closer to them for a little while..
my 15 minutes of possessions is almost up. and my mind is at ease and slowly falling blank...
