she's lit
and she doesn't give a damn about what it's doing to me
she's high as a kite
and she's looking for an electric line to bring her down.
she's offered everything but she's got no more currency
to take any of it in.
she shines with intensity
and she's got no clue on how
to come down.
we walk in similar circles but nothing spirals faster than her mind
when she's crashed.
it's dark
and no one's home
she occupies that body only half of the time.
she's got an ongoing appointment with the devil every day at 4.
if you don't remind her
her body will
as soon as the shivers start coming on.
she'll tell you she's not addicted depending on the company that's listening.
if you are the friend she's not fond of -
she'll fight you like you're the monster that lives inside her mind
if you are tried and true
she will remind you that you don't know her
when the clock turns 10.
i woke up to a bad dream that i was fighting her to give a damn
but she was long gone
in her stupor
far gone and lying beside some strange man.
it was a mistake to fall in love with this shell of a woman
no one told me it would be easy
but she made it sound so simple
like it wasn't a battle of wills, only time
she didn't represent the monster
she never introduced the other that lived with her
in her and kept her hostage.
i was a fool to think i was any different
i was a fool to think i was good enough.
though i was right there along the road
years have passed and the decades have proved
no one
and nothing can be
or take the place of her vice.
it is you
and you are it.
as i let go
i see
she' lit
and as i slowly walk away
i recognize
she's forever out there on her own
out there all alone
walking wounded
unaware that i was ever there.
i can only hope she will someday know
that i am here like a forgotten scar-
i am buried in her
silent
but trying to serve as a reminder that she will inevitably heal...
