it takes a while to shake this shit loose in me
it takes a while for me to step into the moments where i can make sense between the heart and mind.
in my ears i hear a profound rhythm and despite not having made one of my own in quite some time- i appreciate the movement and precision entering me.
i am ready to strip down
i ready to remove the city on my skin
and let the road take me away
it's been long enough that i know i don't belong
and i know i need to get back to something simpler.
it's sickening to never be reminded, in a world fabricated,
that we are merely moving in empty cycles that don't resemble and often overwrite our true intentions.
i am a perfect poster child for consumption. i want and i want.
i told her of how i wanted another in the beginning, someone who i thought beautiful and broken who was not even close to being fixed the way we endlessly work to be fixed. i asked her who she would want if she could have that moment of abandon and of course she mentions some top tier, totally together woman who no one could ever hope to evolve to, successfully.
i sat in admittance of failure in my lustful wish of make out dreams and i sat straight up and said- i recognize and am drawn to the unfinished soul merely because it's a comforting reminder that we all have work to do. why would i lust for the "perfect" being, unless i was convinced i was settling for failure?
needless to say i love my choice despite how faulty and human she is. it only made me love my ellen more, because i recognize how close to fine she is, which is so unlike me.
and i like that.
