he says things are broken-
way past mending
i take a moment and wait for that last hammer to fall
and i wait until he finds the madness finding its way out of his body.
i remind him that there have been bigger obstacles
and even bigger assholes
than him
and i see his shoulders fall
and i see the fury ease from his eyes
until that lyrical lie he's been telling himself for years
finds it way into his head again.
i sit in the dusty spaces full- yet incomplete
and i wait till the latest dust up settles
and we tackle the things i never got to say to you
things maybe a little sister could have forced her big brother to hear
and i know we never got that chance so i'm a little more patient now
and i'm checking my judgement at the first admission of wrongdoing and weakness
today it's me who's doing the listening
and i get a closer look at what it was like for you
being victim time and time again to the vices that always had you pinned.
today- 46 years ago entered the world a promise and an intent
that would lose it's way 42 years later.
i'm coming up on you now brother mike
soon those numbers will belong to me
and i'm gonna count myself through the days till i get passed the date you moved on
and i'm gonna keep on marching to whatever truth that i owe myself to claims me
unless i find it first
and i'm gonna send the messages on to you to fill you in on what you've missed
but in the meantime i'm gonna keep trying to right the man in front of me with whatever i've got
with as little
and as much that i know
things that i never saw in you
that i never got close enough to say
and then i'm gonna try and tell it to little brother et
and i'm gonna settle the score to the things i could never fix
but never gave up trying to
and i'm gonna show him that things aren't passed mending
and remind him that he can choose to not be the asshole he's been
and he can start looking at himself instead of everyone around him
and see that finger shaking back at him
it may be a long shot
but it's really the only option i've been given
to make this worth what it should have been to you.
