7.23.09
God only knows what you’ve given me-
Despite the fact that your coloring has faded away
I still learn lessons from you
Sometimes while awake on airplanes and
Sometimes in the quiet just before the sun fades to darkness
Reminders in most places of who you were
And who I have come to be-
Sorrily incomplete
these aspects are
Surely I am still in transition
And you-
Perhaps you have found a new journey
Still I try to piece together all the tiny fragments
It takes removing myself from the spaces I hold most dear
Only to find places even more sacred
In spaces outside that are so wide and vast
They leave little room for bad wisdom
I come away more clear
More secure in my footing and perspective
There is little room for the spaces self denial occupies
The certainty is there
It is here
And finding a new home in me
I can’t change all the things I’ve said
Or the things that have been done
I can’t change the people I’ve stood beside
Nor the one’s whom I let stand in front of me
I can’t change the names of the lovers I’d held
Or the way we left things unfinished
I can’t change how I’ve hurt you
Or how you left me
I can’t count the ways or times my ego led me through my waking hours
Or the countless times it cost me so much for some cheap thrill
In the end it costs something
Whether it’s integrity, genuinity, truth or love
These lessons leave little room for bad wisdom...
