you said tonight
you can illicit a reaction in much the same way you can push a button.
you sat across from me, splayed across the vinyl recliner taking the same pain as i was
 saying nothing
breathing deep as i was reminding you from across the room
you know i will always tell you just what i want to tell you
and you will tell me in your own way things that i will understand.

it's about semantics
and it's about the in between questions that don't get answered by living in the now
the questions live inside the moments lived on auto pilot and lived in the moment

we trust differently.

i know i am a lonely love
i have my limits in letting others in
and you have a hard time getting close enough to see the opening.

you think i know what i'm talking about
but in reality
my fingers miss the abstract letters of recognition on the typerwriter i first learned emotion on
and my mind switches gears where there are none

oh how i miss the challenge my friend
how i miss the roll call to be present in conversation

we take those chances and show our vulnerabilities
we dive deep to find new oxygen for each other.

when i return to me
i ask myself why i'd ever want to leave the space when i'm closer to everything
but the dismal distractions find their way to me inevitably
and i trade my exotic space of awareness for the strange fruit  that they hang in front of my tired eyes