waiting on a friend..

be just who you are she says
as she leans in close enough for me to smell tomorrow on her

how can i wake up wishing for a different set of circumstances?
circumstances that omit so much of what i thought i wanted.
how do you reconcile the realization that what seems to work for everyone else
doesn't come close to fitting this proverbial womanly self?

sitting awkwardly in a place i've sat a million times before in passing
feels different when i'm waiting for her to come out.
i'm smart enough to know the seeming escape that so closely symbolizes who you are to me now
is not the exact direction i'm heading.

i'm merely feeling things at a level of clarity that i've seemingly been too distracted to see before.
perhaps i'm more awake.
take away the toys, the gadgets and the lover
and things break down to simple again
and become more easily swallowed..